You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just had sex on a roof
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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