Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
