I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
