i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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