hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
