Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i will never coherently bang her
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize