i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
