Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
