Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
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Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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