We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
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it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We're not piercing ourselves today.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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