I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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