Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What did we do last night that was yellow?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
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Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
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It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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