my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
