If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just want nice things and good sex
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
