worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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