I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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