You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
