I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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