And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
