i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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