1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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