belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I understand Curling. That high.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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