You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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