I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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