i will never coherently bang her
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
