the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
