i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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