Buhtt sex?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
