Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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