I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
