Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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