I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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