So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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