just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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