even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
