My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Someone signed my nipple.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
