Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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