No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
