part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
