Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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