It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
