i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am available for nakedness
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
