If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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