Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
