my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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