I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
