I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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