Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
