i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
