I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
