he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
