ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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