what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
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Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
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We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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