Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize