I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
