I molested 6 butterflies tonight
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
