the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
