So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
