You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
