First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
