Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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