Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
