great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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