How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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